are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
