Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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