North Korea, Best Korea!
Just cropdusted the office
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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