brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so let's talk penis.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talked him into tasing himself.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize