It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
last night I used snow as a chaser
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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