Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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