i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
