Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
