just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
