Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
