ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize