have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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