Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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