'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize