Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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