i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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