you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
