you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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