the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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