I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
