I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
