Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
