my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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