My nipple is on Facebook.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize