and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
