When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
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I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
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Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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