Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
