They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
