the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
