remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
