Small penises have feelings too.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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