I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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