Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
