is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
