It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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