nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
