I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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