Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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