im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
