So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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