Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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