The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
