then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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