There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
