Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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