i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
