I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
