I just made out with a guy for $7.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
