You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
