Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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