New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
