Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
