her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
