is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
