Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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