its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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