you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
