Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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