Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
