is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
